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The monkey mimed a drinking action.“They were drinking?”The monkey nodded his head.“What else?” continued the officer.The monkey pinched his fingers together, held them to his mouth and rolled his eyes.“They were smoking marijuana?”The monkey nodded.“Anything else?” asked the officer.The monkey mimed a kiss.“They were kissing too?”The monkey nodded his head.“So,” said the officer, “you’re saying they were drinking, smoking and kissing before they crashed the car?”The monkey nodded.“And what were you doing while all this was going on?”“Driving,” mimed the monkey.A couple were driving home late at night in the pouring rain when their car accidentally ran over a badger. They got out of the car to see whether it was still alive, and found that although it was very cold, the animal was still breathing. “What shall we do?” said the wife. “I know,” said the husband. “Put it between your legs to warm it up.” “But it’s all wet and it stinks!” “Well, cover the badger’s nose then!”A man strolls. He's on his way over to fix your car, m'am. My name’s Leroy,” the bartender said, eyeing her voluptuous body. Grace knew her face was red. “Thank you,” Grace said softly. Involuntarily, her eyes darted to his crotch. Leroy asked her if she wanted a drink. Grace asked for a double vodka martini. The bartender led his guest to a stool at the bar and then made the drink for her. The other men didn't take their eyes off Grace. She was grateful for the drink, hoping the coldness would quench her heat. Her panties were a mess. Leroy walked around the bar and stood beside her. Grace sipped her martini and, knowing what was going to go down, turned on her stool. “Take out my cock,” Leroy said in a matter-of-fact voice, looking at the barely hidden fucklust in Grace's eyes. Grace looked him in the eye. Fuck pretense. “May I call my husband? He wants to listen,” Grace said as if she'd known Leroy for years. “My kind of people,” Leroy smiled. “You look freaky, but I'm gonna tell you how it is.
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