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I think Chris would have been proud of him.One of the things Ensign Porter pulled off was to “requisition” a small quantity of platinum from logistics. Sergeant White needed it to put a mysterious inscription on the side of his creation, and this would feed a replicator the rare element needed for this job. White thought it would only be appropriate for an officer’s weapon to have some special marking on it, just to set it apart from what the lowly enlisted dickheads got to carry. Platinum, just because that’s special.The men thought hard about what would be inscribed on the handle of the fake weapon, and ended up agreeing on “All Your Base Are Belong To Us.” Unfortunately you can’t write that in English on the side of a supposed piece of exotic Sa’arm weaponry. They played with using different languages with strange (to them) alphabets, but someone might recognize it. If it was taken seriously, I could barely imagine the chaos that would be caused if the intel analysts somewhere were. Looking closer, he saw that the jeans had a tear in the seat, as thoughhe had gained weight and torn right through jeans that used to fitperfectly. "Guess I've put on a few pounds lately. Maybe I should hitthe gym..." Unbeknownst to him, he hadn't put on a few pounds, butrather his ass had become larger, pushing the fabric of his jeans toofar.Before leaving the bathroom, Bob caught a glance of his reflection inthe mirror. "I don't remember shaving this morning," he mused, but thenquickly knew the answer. "Oh, that's right; I've never had any facialhair. Silly me!" He giggled, and made his way to the kitchen, in hopesof finding something to mend his jeans with.As he reached into the drawer to get some thread and a needle, he heardclicking. He pulled his hands out only to find that his nails had grownnearly 2 inches! Before his eyes, his hands shrank slightly, becomingmore petite, while his fingers became longer and more slender. But onceagain, his fears were relieved as he remembered.
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