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We’ve been together for two years and I’ve never given you any cause to doubt me. You on the other hand have consistently said you doubt my love.’ ‘Because I know she’s still in your heart. Anything that might remind you has been hidden away. You’ve let all your old friends go just to try and forget. But you can’t, can you? Every time her name’s mentioned, on her birthday and whenever you think no-one notices, the heartache shows on your face. For fuck’s sake just be honest with yourself. Be honest with me.’ I wasn’t ready to do that though. So the argument continued until she left the bed, the flat and my life with a final warning, ‘When you’re ready to admit the truth, call me. But don’t wait too long because I shan’t.’ After a year, I was almost ready to acknowledge she was right. Almost. But then I’d seen her at a club a month ago with another guy and she looked happy. So perhaps it didn’t matter any more. The birthday cards join the photos in the rubbish bag along with an odd. Patti said she needed a drink after work, before going home to an empty house, he worked overnights. Now, I don't drink much, but I figured a few other people were going too so it was safe to go and have just one drink and be social. Little did I know but, Patti had told eveyone told me to go to one bar and everyone else to go to another! I walked in about fifteen minutes after her, the place was dead and there was Patti sitting at the bar, into her third mixed drink. Now, remember I said she was a good girl, she never drank, the church was against it! She was fucking hammered. I bought her another two and drank some iced tea myself. She started spilling her guts. She was so vulnerable. Patti was telling me how her husband hadn't even tried to fuck her in over seven months. She felt so alone. He had no interest, he had a small pecker and she had to take it in the ass to feel anything anyway. She said how she just wanted to have a real orgasm, just one. She was so desperate. I knew.
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