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Quite the reverse: Our bronze control room – the stadium level co-ordination centre – was a high tech masterpiece. We had CCTV access to every area of the venue – yes, including the pump room – and we had data feeds from just about every system functioning around the place.[Laughs]Didn't matter a damn in the event, of course.Polly the PoolI do pool maintenance, its my job. Maybe there's a Uni somewhere does a degree in it by now, I wouldn't know, but I've had 20 years in the business and I'm pretty good at it. Maybe that's why I got the job, y'know? Looking after the water for all the Big Important People – the swimmers – none of whom should ever have known I existed.No, I'm not bitter – it's a fact, people don't notice the technical people. Same goes if you're working in a leisure pool, hotel, Major International Sports ... you do a good job, any case. It helps to care, it helps to know you've done it right.And, yeah, that's why I was personally adjusting the pH, last thing at. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.8. I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.9. What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.10. My friend says to me: “What rhymes with orange” I said: “no it doesn’t”11. And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life. But John came fifth and won a toaster.12. How many opticians does it take to change a lightbulb? Is it one or two? One ... or two?13. What do we want? Low flying airplane noises! When do we want them? NNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW.14. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.15. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.16. What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.17. So what if I don’t know what Armageddon means? It’s not the end of the world.18. How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.19. A blind man.
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