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“Like Steve’s?” Kara asked carefully.“No,” Jessica said, shaking her head, “Not better or worse. Different. But it was what I needed. I’d try to ... well, never mind, but he’d wrap his arms around me and hold me, as if protecting me from the world. But, more importantly, he was protecting me from myself. What’s odd, at least in my mind, is that that comfort, and that safety and security, was channeling your love and Steve’s love and the kids’ love. I don’t understand it myself, but, ultimately, it’s why I couldn’t run away.“The problem was, I didn’t feel as if I could come back, either. I’d say that to Jorge and he’d soothe me and tell me how much everyone here loved me and how all I had to do was ask and you would take me back. I never believed him. And because I didn’t believe him, he died. And that just sucks.”“Jess,” I said, putting my arm around her, “you didn’t kill him. A drunk driver did. And the very reason I don’t like ‘What if?’ is because there is no way to know what would. Don’t get me wrong she did have a place for her cheerleading things including trophies and metals and spirit sticks from cheer camp. But even all of this was in cabinets and looked so organized and I felt so very comfortable there and it helped me to build my nerve to say to her the things I needed to say.When the chit chat came to a pause, I decided to get serious and to talk to her about how I felt and to tell her about my pregnancy. I didn’t know what else to do but to start at the beginning. “Elizabeth, I need to tell you how much your friendship means to me. I don’t have any idea how I would have survived the last couple weeks if you weren’t my friend. I know we haven’t known each other very long, but the way you have opened your heart to me and been there for me has made such a difference in my life. I know the other day you told me that you were sorry for what happened at the theater but I can tell you that I don’t regret one moment of that day or any other day we have.
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