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"I gazed at him with loving eyes as he served me. It was delicious. So my Sweetpea was an awesome cook as well. He cares for me, and my well being is his priority.I asked, careful not to hurt him "Sweetpea, may I ask a question?"He looked from his bowl and said "Of course baby."I asked "You know you are my first love. Am I your first love as well? I mean, I have always seen you use 'true love' for me."Sweetpea smiled sadly and said "I am sorry Peaches, but you are not my first love." Okay. So who was your first love?"His eyes lit up as a distant memory resurfaced."Binty!" he said as he smiled like a child.I asked "Who was she?"He said "Baby you know I never had any constant friend as a child. But I had a friend whom I miss dearly. Her name was Binty, and she was a neighbour to our ancestral home in Kolkata. She was of my age."I smiled as I saw Sweetpea walk down the memory lane."When we would go to our native place on vacations, I would spend my whole time with her. We would do. I sometimes wonder if He has hypnotized me because of His dominance over me. You see, as He breeds me being so rough, i want Him to be rougher. When He makes exquisite love to me, i simply melt into His will. To feel His sexuality and that control over me sends me into an orgasmic high. Having never done heroin, i can't imagine the power it has over the addict. This i do know: the immediate dedication to Master, the very real need i have to please Master to the max by following to the letter exactly every command-every demand- He makes on me without hesitation, the primal need Master has cultivated and grown within me that i know i must live with for the rest of my life, how edgy and nervous and even distraught i become if i go too long without my need being satiated- all ths above and more- my need is my fix. I crave it constantly. Right know i am at work but all i can think about is that i need my fix before i become nothing and i realize that i am nothing without this highest.
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