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G student I had my lab going on very late till 6 pm in the evening. Then after a tired college day I was standing in bus stop for a bus I stood for nearly 15 min and no bus was coming I got frustrated and took an auto and sat, beside me was an old lady who was going to railway station and mine was one stop before railway station. as auto started moving forward one man boarded the auto and within going 50 meters or so a Muslim lady don’t know whether girl or women asked the auto whether he was taking auto towards railway station. Auto driver said her to board the man sitting beside me sat beside auto driver and the lady sat beside me. she was little bit fat wearing a burkah almost covering her entire body not knowing who she was her eyes were only apparent and she was seeing me when I was turning other side. almost our thighs were in contact she had a purse and in which she had a 6600 nokia mobile which was ringing and she took it out and talked for 2 min and again she saw me eye to. Ich war nicht gefragt worden. Ich habe mich geplagt und mich bemueht, den Wuenschen der anderen gerecht zu werden, habe immer wieder versagt und zwischendrin versucht, meinem(?) ganzen Leben noch irgendwie etwas Schoenes abzugewinnen. Doch gerade solche Momente fuehrten dann wieder zu Missbilligungen und Unverstaendnis.Irgendwann war ich dann "erwachsen" und selbststaendig und konnte tun und lassen was ich wollte. (Stimmt auch nicht ganz.) Nun blicke ich zurueck und muss feststellen, dass ich ein Leben lebe das irgendwie nicht meins ist und eine Kindheit hatte, die nicht meine war.Ich habe mal so was gehoert wie: "Der Halt des Menschen in diesem Leben sind seine Erinnerungen, seine Vergangenheit." Welchen Halt aber habe dann ich? Nein, ich bin als Kind nicht "misshandelt" worden in dem Sinne, in dem dieses Wort normalerweise gebraucht wird. Dennoch fuehle ich mich misshandelt, unverstanden und fehl am Platz hier auf dieser Welt.Vor einigen Jahren habe ich mir eine Verantwortung.
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