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I hadn’t scared myself; maybe with a few repeat performances I might not feel so self-conscious that I hoped my neighbors hadn’t heard anything through the ventilator grille.I called my parents at seven that evening, ten in Atlanta. I asked Mom the same question that I’d posed to Helga. Being Mom she too gave me her honest opinion straightaway – that I’d come home for Thanksgiving in ‘business mode’ and it had taken a whole day with the kids before I was back to my normal self, by which time I was about to hop back on a plane. Okay. That confirmed the story.“Why didn’t you say anything?”“I did. I told you it was long past time for you to find someone nice and settle down. How are you getting on with that, by the way?”I hesitated, not wanting to share too much too soon. “There’s a possibility. Early days.”She chuckled knowingly, “Okay, honey, I’m getting the vibe that you’re not ready to talk about her yet. When you are, I’m on the other end of the phone. Don’t forget?”Damn, my mother. I reflected back on the journey that had brought me tothat moment. I was raised in a conservative suburbantown. Growing up, I accepted without question myparents’ belief that blacks were just as good as wewere, but as far as relationships go, each group wasmeant to stay with their own kind. I would actuallyfeel revulsion when I saw a white girl walking with ablack man because I had been taught that what they weredoing was unnatural.By the time I was in college, I saw some of my whiteclassmates dating black men, and rationalized that ifthe races were truly equal there should be no reasonwhy they shouldn’t be together if they desired, but Idefinitely felt it was inappropriate for me. Allthrough college, all my boyfriends and lovers werewhite. I was curious; however, as to why I saw manymore white women with black men than the other wayaround.By the time I was twenty-five, I was married to aprofessional soldier older than myself. I had beenattracted to him because he seemed.
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